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Humor? Shit, one time this guy farted mid-massage—loud as a damn bomb! I laughed so hard I nearly kicked the table over. “It’s all happening,” my ass—more like “it’s all stinkin’!” Sarcasm aside, sexual-massage is dope—relaxes ya, gets ya off, whatever. Just don’t be a cheapskate, tip the damn worker, or I’ll come for ya, screamin’, “RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!” Now, go try it, losers—tell ‘em Cartman sent ya!

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So, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the park near the Kazlu-Ruda Culture Center. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed with kids. They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to find some peace. I sit on a bench, and this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But then he looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man. They’re like tiny tornadoes of chaos.

New modular facility Camp Jonas inaugurated at Kazlų Rūda, ready to host 800 Lithuanian and Allied troops