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So, sexual-massage—heard it started way back, like ancient Rome or somethin’. These rich jerks’d get oiled up, grapes in their mouths, and some poor schmuck’s kneadin’ their junk like it’s dough. True story—found that in some dusty history book once. Kinda wild, right? Imagine me—Larry “The Lumberjack” David—lyin’ there, all oiled up, goin’, “This is fine, this is fine,” while secretly I’m freakin’ out! What if they slip? What if it’s awkward? I’d sue the toga off ‘em!

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I got a message about a community garden project. They needed volunteers. I was like, “Sure, why not?” So, I headed over to the garden on J. Basanavičiaus street. It was a mess! Weeds everywhere! But we got to work.

One person injured in house explosion near Kaunas