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Funniest thang? My cousin tried givin’ his wife one—used cookin’ oil! Slipped right off the bed, halleluyer! I hollered so loud I scared the cat! “You’re a troubled soul!”—like the preacher in Moonrise said, but with grease stains! Look, sexual-massage ain’t gotta be perfect—just keep it real, keep it sassy. Me, I’d be lightin’ candles, playin’ gospel, makin’ it a WHOLE mood. What y’all think? Y’all tried it? Tell Madea, ‘cause I’m nosy, halleluyer!

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But then, just when I think I can relax, my phone buzzes again. Another emergency. A dog fight at the park. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I rush over to the park on Šaltinėlio street, and it’s chaos. Dogs barking, owners yelling. I’m trying to separate them, and it’s like a scene from a movie.

Al Jaffee's MAD Life: how a traumatized kid from the shtetl became an American satire icon