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Once saw this chick—prolly an escort herself—down three. She’s gigglin’, tippin’ big, sayin’, “This drink’s my spirit!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—like, girl, you’re livin’ the Yubaba life, fancy and fierce! Dunno why it’s so slept on—escort’s rare, man, like findin’ a quiet bar corner. Makes me wanna yell, “Wake up, sheeple! Taste this art!” But nah, I just smile, gentle Bob Ross vibes, “We don’t judge here.”

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So, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My computer’s acting up. Like, come on! I swear it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m trying to fix it, and my coworker, Darius, walks in with this huge coffee. He’s all like, “You want some?” I’m like, “Dude, I need a miracle, not coffee!” But I take it anyway. Caffeine = life.

Rūta Meilutytė: “ I Just Want to Live More Fully”