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Aight, listen up, you losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a freakin’ mess out there! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *12 Years a Slave*, ya know? That flick’s intense—Solomon’s all, “I will survive!” and I’m like, damn, prostitutes prolly say that too! Hella real shit. Anyway, findin’ one? Psh, it’s like huntin’ for candy in Stan’s dumb vegan fridge—tricky as hell!
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So, I finally get to the office, and guess what? My computer’s acting up. Like, come on! I swear it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m trying to fix it, and my coworker, Darius, walks in with this huge coffee. He’s all like, “You want some?” I’m like, “Dude, I need a miracle, not coffee!” But I take it anyway. Caffeine = life.
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