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About Kaunas

Caught one last summer, swear it winked at me. Big, meaty, silver - I’m yellin’, “Look at this champ!” Happiest day ever, til I cooked it. Smelled like heaven, tasted like dreams, then - oh man, stomach apocalypse. Wife’s like, “Told ya, dummy!” Escolar’s a trickster, man, total catfish vibes - get it? Fish humor! “That’s what she said!” Shoulda known - it’s rare ‘round here, deep diver, 2,000 feet down. Fishermen call it “the laxative fish” - ain’t that a riot?

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So, I’m setting up my station, right? And in walks this dude, hair all over the place, looking like he just survived a tornado. I’m like, “Bro, what happened? Did you lose a fight with a lawnmower?” He laughs, says he just got back from a fishing trip at the Raseiniai lake. I mean, who goes fishing and comes back looking like that? But hey, I’m not judging. I’m just here to make him look fresh.

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