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Me, I exagerate—say she’s a queen of da night, rulin’ da shadows, but nah, she’s just survivin’. “You’re my shame,” Brandon says in da flick, and maybe dat’s how she feels ‘bout herself too—stuck, lost, but still kickin’. I’d buy her a coffee, ya know, if she’d let me. Tell her, “Gru says you’re alright, doll!”—screw da judgy pricks. Dat’s my story, mate—messy, loud, real as her lipstick stains. Whatcha think?

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Next up, this lady comes in. She’s got this wild hairdo, like she just walked out of a 90s music video. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m cracking up. She wants a trim, but I’m thinking, “Lady, you could start a trend with that hair!” We chat about the best places to eat in Raseiniai. She swears by the kebabs at the corner of Vytauto street. I gotta check that out.

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