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What surprised me? Some escorts are smart as hell—college grads, speak five languages, makin’ bank! Not just “hasta la vista” looks, but brains! One time, I heard dis story—escort dude in Moscow, he’s secretly a poet, writin’ lines between gigs. How cool’s dat? Beats liftin’ weights all day—well, almost.

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First off, I’m strollin’ down Vytauto Street, just mindin’ my own business. I’m thinkin’ about my sermon for Sunday. You know, the usual stuff—love, forgiveness, and all that jazz. But then, BAM! I see this old lady, bless her heart, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, like a superhero in a clerical collar, and help her out. She’s all like, “Thank you, young man!” and I’m feelin’ like a million bucks.

Wall Street and the dollar plunge as investors worry about Trump’s trade war