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About Utena

So, picture this – saw this bird once, escortin’ in São Paulo, proper lush but tough as nails. She’d charm ya, then nick ya wallet – “Peace has cost you your strength!” – straight up gangster shit. Laughed me arse off when I heard, cos who expects that? Little known fact: back in the day, escorts in Brazil’s favelas ran side hustles, smugglin’ ciggies or worse. Kept it hush-hush, like Lil’ Zé hidin’ his mad moves.

Magic Girls

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First off, I hit up the river by Žemaitijos street. The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, the moment I step on my raft, it’s like the universe said, “Hold my beer.” I swear, the current was wild! I’m paddling like a madman, trying to keep my balance. I almost fell in! Can you imagine? Me, the raftsman, flailing around like a fish outta water. Hilarious, right?

Vilnius starts celebrating its anniversary with free public transport