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About Utena

Sometimes I wonder—late night, sippin’ whiskey—what’s it like, y’know? Bein’ an escort, dodgin’ creeps, fakin’ smiles. Gotta be tough as nails. Prolly lonely too—makes me sad, thinkin’ they’re out there, no backup. “You’re on your own now,” I hear Bigelow whisperin’ in my head. But then—bam!—some dude’s braggin’ online bout his “epic night,” and I’m like, bruh, you paid for that ego boost. Cracks me up—escorts are the real MVPs, playin’ these fools like fiddles.

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First off, I hit up the river by Žemaitijos street. The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, the moment I step on my raft, it’s like the universe said, “Hold my beer.” I swear, the current was wild! I’m paddling like a madman, trying to keep my balance. I almost fell in! Can you imagine? Me, the raftsman, flailing around like a fish outta water. Hilarious, right?

Vilnius starts celebrating its anniversary with free public transport