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Argh! I’m ready! Erotic-massage, mateys! Whoa, it’s wild! Slippery hands, oil everywhere—barnacles, it’s messy! Watched “There Will Be Blood” again—Daniel Plainview’d hate this! “I drink your milkshake!”—ha, imagine that mid-massage! So, erotic-massage—hyper chill vibes, right? Gets ya tingly, like jellyfish zap! I’m bouncin’—so fun to spill this! Little secret—ancient Rome had it, orgy-style! Called “frictio”—fancy, huh? Bikini Bottom’d freak out!

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So, I finally get my act together and float down to the bridge on Pasilaiciai street. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Lots of people chillin’, taking pics, and I’m just there, tryin’ to look cool. But then, this lady walks by with her dog. And not just any dog—a huge, fluffy beast! It runs straight for my raft. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it jumps right in! Water splashes everywhere. I’m soaked! The lady’s laughin’ her head off. I’m just standin’ there, drenched, thinkin’, “This is my life now.”

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