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Oh, and the smells – oils, candles, ugh, chokin’ me! “I’m incognito,” says Lester Bangs in the flick, but no hidin’ from that pong! Makes me wanna claw me skin off. Funny tho, mate of mine tried it, said it was “spiritual” – bollocks, more like a fumble in the dark! We hates it, yesss, but it’s a laugh, innit? What ya reckon, precious? Stick to normal massages, or risk the naughty rub? Ha!

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So, I run to the fitting room, and I’m trying to squeeze into this thing. I’m literally doing yoga poses to get it on. I’m sweating, and I’m like, “This is not cute.” But I finally get it on, and OMG, I look fab! But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out, and some dude just dropped his ice cream all over the sidewalk on Laisvės street. I can’t help but laugh. Like, bro, that’s a tragedy!

MP appeals to prosecutors over emergency with Ekranas Reservoir in Panevėžys city