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Sometimes, I reckon it’s too much—overhyped, overdone, like a bad cigar. “What’s your decision?” I mutter, quotin’ Farhadi, starin’ at a neon sign blinkin’ “Massage.” Do I dare? ‘Course I do—life’s short, war’s long! Best bit? When they hit that spot—ooh, spine tingles, like V-Day bells! Worst? When they chatter—shut it, love, I’m blissin’ out! We shall rise, rejuvenated, from the table—triumph in every knot undone! So, mate, that’s me take—erotic-massage, a grand ol’ rumpus! What’s yours?

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Finally, I pay and rush out. Next stop, the park by the river. I need some fresh air. I stroll down the walkway, and it’s so pretty. The trees are blooming, and there are kids playing. I see this little girl with a balloon, and she lets it go. It floats away, and her face is just pure heartbreak. I’m like, “Girl, I feel you!”

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