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But here’s the kicker—everybody lies about it. “Oh, it’s just a massage,” they say, smirking. Yeah, right. You’re not fooling me, buddy. It’s a power trip too—someone’s got you half-naked, vulnerable, and you’re just lying there, hoping they don’t suck at it. Like in *Timbuktu*, when the jihadists roll in, all smug, controlling everything—same vibe, but with less guns and more lavender oil. I’d kill for a masseuse who’d whisper, “The river will flow again,” while she’s working out my knots. Poetic, right? Too bad most of ‘em just grunt and slap your ass to say “done.”

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I was fuming. Like, why does this always happen? I mean, it’s Naujininkai, not a coffee disaster zone! So, I decided to walk it off. Strolled down Maironio gatvė, and wow, the vibe was chill. Kids were playing, old folks were gossiping. It’s like a scene from a movie, but then—ugh!—I stepped in dog poop. Seriously? Who lets their dog run wild here?

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