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Now, modern escorts—cars, beep beep! Or peepz in suits, all serious. Saw this one time, dude in a tux, escortin’ some lady—thought he was a penguin! Laughed so hard I tripped, face in sand, oops! Made me mad tho, ‘cause nobody told me escorts could be so sneaky! Like, “What’s your name?” from the movie—nobody asks escorts that, they just… exist!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Vytauto street. You know, the one with the weirdly awesome pastries? I ordered a coffee and a šakotis. I mean, who can resist that? But then, the barista—let’s call her “Coffee Queen”—totally messed up my order. I got a black coffee instead of my usual caramel latte. Ugh! I was like, “Do I look like I drink black coffee?” But whatever, I chugged it down. Gotta fuel up, right?

As Lithuania releases asylum seekers, some may flee to Western Europe