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About Alytus

Me, I get a kick outta how they roll. Makes me happy seein’ folks own their hustle. But—YOU SHALL NOT PASS!—the judgy pricks piss me off. Callin’ ‘em names, actin’ all high and mighty. Mate, chill, it’s just a gig! I’d rather share a pint with an escort than some stuck-up elf any day. They’ve got guts, livin’ raw, no fakery. Reminds me of Boonmee’s line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people.” Escorts carry their own ghosts—clients, weird nights, secrets. Wild, innit?

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So, I decide to join in. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a bush. Oops. The kids are laughing, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” But then, one of the kids, this little dude with a huge grin, runs into the bush and pulls out a snake! A freakin’ snake! I’m like, “What the actual heck?”

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