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About Alytus

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s old as sin. Ancient Greeks? Oh, they were *all* over it—called it “bodywork” or some fancy shite. Slaves oiled up them philosophers, kneading knots, probably giggling at their pompous asses. Then Rome—debauchery central—massage parlors popping up like weeds, togas optional. Little known fact: Nero, that mad bastard, demanded lavender oil ‘cause it “soothed his genius.” Prick. Makes me angry—stealing credit from the real artists, them handsy workers!

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So, I decide to join in. I kick the ball, and it goes flying into a bush. Oops. The kids are laughing, and I’m like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.” But then, one of the kids, this little dude with a huge grin, runs into the bush and pulls out a snake! A freakin’ snake! I’m like, “What the actual heck?”

Figure 3. e rue pattern in Lithuanian folk art: a) embroideries on the...