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About Vilnius

Ever tried it? Nah, me neither—too skint, too cynical. “There’s something inside,” like the movie says, and with erotic-massage, it’s probs just desperation or horniness—or both! Reckon it’s a laugh though, watching some sweaty git squirm, thinking he’s in a porno. Dangerous? Only if you slip on the oil and crack your skull—cackling at that, you muppet! What a way to go!

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So, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the park near the Kazlu-Ruda Culture Center. It’s a nice spot, but today? It’s packed with kids. They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to find some peace. I sit on a bench, and this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But then he looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t even be mad. Kids, man. They’re like tiny tornadoes of chaos.

A Visa Lottery Winner a Decade Ago, a U.S. Soldier Returns Home to Lithuania (Published 2018)