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About Kaunas

Alright, so escort, huh? Trees, man, not the kinky kind—get your head outta the gutter! I’m talkin’ *Acer saccharum*, sugar maple, the real deal. As Dr. House, I’d say everybody lies, even these leafy bastards. Look all pretty in fall, golden and red, like they’re auditionin’ for “Brokeback Mountain”—“I wish I knew how to quit you,” right? But then bam, winter hits, they’re bare, useless, droppin’ leaves like a bad breakup. Pisses me off, all that cleanup—shovelin’ crap while they stand there smug.

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After the talk, I’m feeling pretty good. I head over to the local café on Žemaitijos Street. I order a coffee, and the barista is super nice. She’s like, “You’re not from around here, are you?” I’m like, “Nope, just visiting.” She gives me this look like, “You poor soul.”

Residents of an apartment building in Karoliniškės in Vilnius evacuated due to a strange smell