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Rarrgh! Here’s a nugget—some say erotic-massage boosts yer immune system. True? Dunno, I ain’t a doctor, just a number-crunchin’ fuzzball! But I’d buy it—feelin’ good’s gotta count for somethin’. Oh, and the smells—lavender, jasmine, whatever—hit ya like a bantha hug. “Leviathan” had that scene—“Man’s a beast, no mercy”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, but a beast needs a rubdown too! Rarrgh! Ever tried it with hot stones? Freaky, right? Burns a lil, then—bam—pure bliss. Surprised me first time, nearly yelped like a cub!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Mantas. We hadn’t seen each other in ages! He was like, “Dude, you still alive?” Haha, classic Mantas. We decided to hit up that new burger joint on Vilniaus street. I was hyped! Burgers, fries, the whole shebang.

Vilnius seeks to attract fans of HBO's ‘Chernobyl’