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Oi mate, lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, alright? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s bloody wild, innit? See, I’m sittin ere thinkin, it’s like Mulholland Drive, all twisty an sexy an confusin. Ya got them hands slidin over ya, oil everywhere, an yer like, “What’s my name? Who am I?” – straight outta that Lynch flick, ya know? “The pinky ring… it’s a clue!” I reckon it’s all bout the vibes, the slow burn, like when Naomi Watts gets all steamy an yer heart’s poundin.

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Finally, I decide to head back home. I’m walking back to my car, and I see this group of kids playing soccer in a field. They’re having a blast, and I can’t help but smile. I think about how simple life can be. Just a ball, some friends, and a field.

Noah Salaudeen Stars In FC Jonava’s 6-3 Victory Over FK Kauno Žalgiris