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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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As the night goes on, I’m feelin’ good. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just tryna enjoy my drink, and they’re making a scene. I’m like, “C’mon, guys, keep it down!” But they don’t hear me. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Yo, chill out, it’s just Elektrenai!” But I don’t. I just sip my drink and mind my business.

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