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About Alytus

An’ here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—some say sexual-massage popped up in them opium dens o’ the East, all smoky an’ mysterious, like the Pale Man’s lair in *Pan’s Labyrinth*. “This is a place of secrets,” aye, an’ them hands knew ‘em all! Ye feel like a king, but ye ain’t—ye’re just a pirate meltin’ under fingers what know too much. Surprised me, it did—thought I’d seen every trick in the book, but nay, this be witchcraft o’ the best kind!

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy barges in. He’s all angry, yelling about how I sold him a stale loaf last week. I’m like, “Dude, that was last week! Get over it!” But he’s not having it. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fuming. Like, who does he think he is?

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