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But yo, what pisses me off? These fake-ass parlors, man. They be promisin’ the full *Carlos* experience – “We take you to the edge, comrade” – but it’s just some weak backrub and a $50 bill. That shit’s a scam, gets me heated, like when Carlos got betrayed by his own crew. I’m like, “Where’s the passion, dawg?” On the flip, tho, when it’s done right? Oh, it’s bliss, fam. Had this one time, chick’s hands was so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Made me happy as hell, like smokin’ a blunt watchin’ the sunset.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, a cat strolls in. Yup, a cat. Just waltzes right through the door like it owns the place. Everyone’s distracted. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?” But the crowd loves it. They start bidding on the cat! I’m dying. “Do I hear 10 for the cat?”

Three deputy health ministers take up their posts - MINISTRY OF HEALTH OF THE REPUBLIC OF LITHUANIA