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About Utena

She’s a mess, dude, total trainwreck—makes me wanna puke and laugh at once. Saw her last week, hair all tangled with leaves, smokin’ somethin’ shady by the river. “Look at me!” she yells, like she’s hot shit—newsflash, babe, you’re a forest skank. Everybody lies, tho—she says she’s “just chillin’,” but I bet she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Maybe a pissed-off boyfriend, maybe the cops—who cares? She’s got that wild glint, like she’d shank you for a beer.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Tomas. He’s all hyped up about the new park they’re building near the Biržai Castle. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he goes on about how they’re cutting down trees. I’m like, “Bro, can’t we just plant more trees?” But he’s all, “Nah, man, it’s not that simple.” Whatever, man.

The two faces of Before-After beer