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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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Anyway, I finally get to the park. It’s packed. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to chill. I sit on a bench, pull out my sketchbook, and start doodling. But then, this old lady sits next to me. She’s got this massive bag of seeds. She starts feeding the birds, and they swarm like it’s a scene from a horror movie. I’m like, “Lady, you’re gonna get attacked!”

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