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Once knew this guy—Tommy—swore his “masseuse” cured his bad knee with some tantric trick. Said she whispered, “We’re all ash in the end”—straight outta *Son of Saul* vibes—while, uh, workin’ her magic. True story! Blew my mind—still does! I mean, who knew sexual-massage could get all philosophical? Makes ya wonder—am I missin’ out? Nah, I’m too old for that jazz—Malarkey! But, folks, it’s wild—hands slippin’, oils drippin’, and boom—stress gone! Like Saul sayin’, “I can’t help you”—but flipped—she *can* help ya, and how!

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So I start blastin’. The noise is insane! I’m in my zone, but then—bam! The hose gets tangled. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m yankin’ it, and it sprays everywhere. I’m soaked! And the client? She’s freakin’ out. “My flowers!” she screams. I’m like, “Chill, lady! They’re fine!”

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