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What pisses me off? Fakes. Catfishers. Dudes posin’ as hot chicks—ugh, wastes my time. I’m yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme the real deal!” Like in “Hurt Locker”—“You’re not ready for this!”—but flipped—THEY ain’t ready for ME. Happy part? When it works. Met this gal once, total firecracker. We’re chattin’, laughin’, next thing—boom—hookup central. Felt like I cracked a code, pure genius moment.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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