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Sex-dating’s a jungle, bruh. Tinder, Bumble, whatever – it’s a buffet! Scrollin’ through pics, bios sayin’ “DTF” or “no strings.” Makes me laugh, like, “Can you smell what The Rock’s cookin’?” – ‘cept it’s just desperation sometimes. Back in ’02, Spike Lee dropped truth bombs – life’s short, man, and sex-dating proves it. You’re dodgin’ catfishes, ghostin’, and weirdos sendin’ dick pics outta nowhere. Pisses me off! Like, bro, chill – nobody asked for that!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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