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About Mauren

Back in the day, I seen it—prostitutes dodgin’ cops like Sadness dodgin’ a smile! Hella sneaky, y’all. One time, this chick, she was hollerin’ at cars, skirt shorter than a temper tantrum. I was like, “Girl, you bold as Anger flippin’ tables!” Made me laugh, tho—her hustle was real. Little known fact: some of ‘em got code words, like “you need a ride?” Ain’t no Uber, honey!

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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