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About Schellenberg

I tried it once—swear, true story! This chick on Tinder, profile screamin’ “fun vibes only,” but her bio? “No hookups, just soulmates.” What the hell, right? Mixed signals got me mad—pick a lane, lady! Reminds me of Cronenberg’s line, “You’re tryin’ to hide somethin’!”—damn straight, she was! Turns out, she ghosted me after I said I dig old movies. Pfft, her loss—I’m a catch, ya hear?

Other Ruggell Cities:

Then, I decide to take a stroll by the Eschen Park. It’s usually my happy place. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m dodging balls like I’m in some weird action movie. One kid kicks it right at me, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” I mean, I love kids, but come on!

Tom Eschen to retire from Maryville University