Stella Planken Whore ❤️

About Eschen

Now, here’s a lil’ tea y’all prolly ain’t heard. Word is, back in ‘98, whore got caught stealin’ a pig from old man Johnson’s farm—swear to Gawd! Said she needed it for some “ritual” to keep her man from strayin’. Chile, that pig squealed louder than her lies! I was tickled pink when I heard that, ‘cause who does that? She a whole character, like somethin’ outta that movie. “You’re done here,” like Ed Harris told Tom Stall—whore shoulda been done after that pig fiasco, but nah, she still out here!

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

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