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About Schaan

Back in the day, word is, Hawaiian kahunas—y’know, them wise healers—they’d knead your body like dough, mixin’ in some freaky-deaky energy work. Lomi lomi, they call it, but let’s be real, it’s sexual-massage with a spiritual twist. Blows my mind, man! Little known fact: they’d chant while touchin’ ya—imagine that, some old dude hummin’ over your naked back. Freaky, right? Made me laugh first time I heard it, but damn, it works.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the Planken Castle. It’s this old, kinda creepy place. I swear, every time I go there, I half-expect a ghost to pop out and say, “Boo!” But today? No ghosts. Just a bunch of tourists taking selfies. Like, really? You’re in front of a castle, and you’re more interested in your Instagram feed? Priorities, people!

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