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About Ruggell

D’oh! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s like Melancholia up in here—just waitin’ for the end! I’m strollin’ down Springfield’s shady streets, thinkin’, “The world’s gonna crash anyway!” You know, like Kirsten Dunst starin’ at that damn planet. I see this chick, right? Red heels, skirt shorter than Bart’s attention span—D’oh! She’s givin’ me the eye, and I’m all, “Homer, don’t be a dope!” But, jeez, it’s temptin’, like a donut with sprinkles callin’ my name.

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Finally, I grab my bratwurst and head to the park. It’s a nice spot, with trees and a playground. I plop down on a bench, ready to enjoy my lunch. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me! I’m covered in sticky vanilla goodness. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid? He looks up at me with these big, sad eyes. I can’t even be mad. I just laugh it off.

BREAKING: Vehicle Plows Into Crowd in Mannheim City Center