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About Schaan

But then—ooh—sometimes it’s gold. Met this bird once, proper lush, we’s chattin’ dirty in DMs. She’s all “let’s meet,” and I’m bouncin’, thinkin’, “We wants it, we needs it!” Hooked up in some dodgy alley—classy, right? Felt like that movie line, “His scent drives me mad.” Cor, did it! Smelled like cheap cigs and desperation—my type, heh.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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