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About Schaan

D’oh! Escorts, man, wild stuff! So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, right? Like, not the car—Ford Escort, meh, boring—but the fancy ladies! Mmm… donuts. Ya know, paid dates, kinda shady, kinda cool. Watched "Eternal Sunshine" again last night—damn, that movie messes with ya! Jim Carrey’s all, “Blessed are the forgetful,” and I’m like, whoa, deep! Makes me wonder—escorts, do they forget their nights? Wipe ‘em clean like Clementine?

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So I’m diggin’ in, pullin’ weeds, and tryin’ to save these poor flowers. And then, outta nowhere, her cat, Whiskers, decides to join the party. This little furball jumps right into my wheelbarrow! I’m like, “Dude, this ain’t a cat taxi!” But Whiskers just stares at me like, “What’s your problem?”

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