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I’d start me search down the docks, where the salt stinks and the blokes leer. “Life is a mystery,” Amélie’d say, “you must untangle it!” – and ain’t that the truth here? All these lasses got stories, mate, hidden like her bleedin’ gnome. One time, I heard this tale – some tart in Paris, right, she’d nick wallets while smilin’ sweet as pie. Sneaky, that! Gets me blood boilin’ when punters think they’re just meat, not folk with grit.

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So I grab my tools, hop on my bike, and zoom down the streets. Balzers is small, but it’s got charm. The cobblestone streets, the cute little houses, and the sound of the Rhine River flowin’ nearby. It’s picturesque, right? But then I hit a pothole on Kirchstraße. Ugh! My bike almost flipped! I swear, if I had a euro for every bump in this town…

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