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But here’s where I get twitchy—it’s lazy now. Callin’ someone a whore? Yawn. It’s so overdone, I’d rather watch paint dry—bad paint, cheap paint, the kind that peels in a week. I’d tell my friend, “Dude, if you’re gonna insult, get creative!” I mean, Celine’d never stoop that low, she’d just smirk and sip her wine. Me? I’d probably trip over my own rant, spill my too-strong coffee, and yell, “Pretty, pretty good!” at the mess. That’s whore for ya—messy, loud, and somehow still kickin’.

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While I was waiting for the rain to chill, I overheard this lady talking about how she thinks Zhangaqala is the best city ever. I mean, I love it too, but c’mon! It’s got its quirks. Like, the traffic on Kazybek bi? A nightmare! And don’t even get me started on the potholes.