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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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So, I’m workin’ on him, and outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? In the middle of a root canal? I’m just sittin’ there, drill in hand, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a dentist in the dark.” I could hear the chaos outside on Kabanbay Batyr Street. People honkin’, yelling, it was a whole scene.