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About Almaty

I be Captain Jack Sparrow, see? Slurred wit, sharper eyes. Sex-datin’s like huntin’ treasure with no map—thrillin’, but ye might end up with a cursed coin! Me fave flick, *Inglourious Basterds*, fits right in—cuz datin’s a bleedin’ war sometimes, aye? “You know somethin’, Utivich?” I says to meself, scrollin’ Tinder. “This may just be my masterpiece.” Hah! Findin’ a lass who ain’t a scalawag? That’s the real scalp hunt!

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But then, I get a text. My buddy’s in town, and he’s lost. I’m like, “Dude, how do you get lost in Tobol?” I mean, it’s not that big! I rush out, dodging puddles like I’m in an Olympic event.

Museveni: Quruxdu maahan timo gacan ku samays ah