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So, escort racing – niche as hell, right? Little known fact: back in the ‘70s, Ford Escorts dominated rally scenes, like the London-Mexico run – 16,000 miles of pure chaos! Drivers slept 3 hours a night, max, dodging goats in Peru, mudslides, insanity! Makes me wanna scream – “Stratospheric!” – ‘cause that’s guts, dahling! I get all tingly thinking about it, those madmen pushing limits. But ugh, the crashes? Piss me off – one wrong turn, bam, twisted metal, dreams gone. Saw this one clip, Escort MK2 flipping six times – driver walked away! Surprised me so hard I spat my martini.

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Then, I see this old man selling shashlik by the river. I’m starving, so I grab a skewer. Best decision ever! I’m munching away, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m thinking, “Forget the baursaks, this is the real deal!”

Figure 1. Map of sampling stations in the Shardara Reservoir with...