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About Kostanay

Sex-datin’s a maze, y’all. Like Del Toro’s faun leadin’ ya somewhere freaky. One time, I heard bout this chick—posted pics, all flirty, then bam, catfished a dozen guys. Sent ‘em pics of her “dog”—turns out, it’s a freakin’ raccoon! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but damn, that’s cold. “The pale man sees you,” I’d say—watch out, y’all, traps everywhere!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Abay Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this dude walks in, right? He’s got a backpack that looks like it’s been through a war. I’m talkin’ rips, stains, the whole nine yards. He plops down next to me and starts ramblin’ about his “epic” hike up the mountains. I’m like, bro, you’re in Saryozek, not the Himalayas. Chill.

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