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Best bit? When it works, it’s magic – sparks fly, ya meet up, maybe shag, maybe more. “Life’s a mystery,” Ida’d say, and sex-dating’s the wildest riddle. So, mate, dive in, but watch yer step – it’s a madhouse, and I fuckin’ love it! Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – she’d kill me if she knew!

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Then, I decide to take a stroll by the river. The sun’s shining, and I’m feeling good. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m like, “I used to be a champ at this!” So, I join in. Big mistake. I trip over my own feet and faceplant right in front of them. They’re laughing, and I’m just lying there, thinking, “Great, now I’m the clown of Qusmuryn.”