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What pisses me off? Fakes! Catfishers with pics from 10 years ago—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, posers! I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Show your real face, coward!” But when it works? Oh, mate, it’s gold. Met this lass once—total fire, no cap. We clicked, we vibed, it was like, “Your body’s my map,” straight outta the movie. That shit’s rare, tho—most times it’s awkward AF. Like, “Uh, you’re not 6’2, bruv.”

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Finally, I get the machines running. Thank goodness! I’m milking away, and it’s kinda peaceful. Just me, the cows, and the rhythmic sound of the machines. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I rush out, and there’s a car accident on Kirova! Some guy rear-ended another dude. I’m like, “Man, can’t you drive?” People are gathering, taking videos. It’s like a reality show out there.