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Hullo, my precious! Me, Gollum, raspy lil’ radio operator, yesss. Escort, eh? Makes me twitchy, it does! Like them warriors in *Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon* – all sneaky-like, flippin’ through trees. Escort’s that game, innit? Protectin’ some fancy pants, or maybe a dodgy smuggler – who knows? “We must take the sword!” – that’s me, screamin’ into the mic, all heroic. Precious escort gigs, they’re wild, see?

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Then, I decide to grab a bite at my favorite spot, the Zhympity Café. I order a plov, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m scarfing it down when I overhear this couple arguing. “You never listen!” “Well, you never stop talking!” Classic, right? I’m just sitting there, enjoying my food, thinking, “Man, relationships are wild.”

Kanat Bozumbayev instructs to accelerate construction of housing for flood victims in West Kazakhstan region