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About Almaty

I tried it once—fuckin Jersey parlor, sketchy neon sign buzzin. This chick, she’s workin me like I’m dough, and I’m like, “What’s this, happy endin or what?” Little known fact—back in the 80s, these joints got raided weekly, cops didn’t give a shit tho. Made me laugh, thinkin bout pigs trippin over massage oil. Hilarious, right? Slippery bastards.

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So, I’m outta there, sticky and caffeinated. I head to the market on Zhosaly Street. It’s packed, like always. Fresh produce everywhere. I’m eyeing these juicy apples, and this old lady starts haggling like she’s at a bazaar in Almaty. I’m just standing there, thinking, “Lady, it’s an apple, not a car!” But hey, that’s Zhosaly for ya.

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