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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort - not the dodgy street corner kind, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car, ya twit! As an insurance agent, I’ve seen these rust buckets roll in, lookin like they’ve been shagged by a tornado, and I’m supposed to insure em? Piss off! Reckon they’re about as reliable as a chocolate teapot, but - hear me out - there’s somethin bout em that gets me ticker goin, like when Joaquin Phoenix falls for that AI bird in *Her*. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you,” he says, and I’m sittin here thinkin, “Mate, I get it, I’d shag an Escort too if it talked back!” Cackle!

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my buddy, Aslan. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. Turns out, he just got a new job at the local school. I’m like, “Dude, congrats! You’re gonna be the coolest teacher ever!” He’s all modest, but I can see he’s pumped. We chat for a bit, and I can’t help but feel happy for him.

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