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Heard this mad tale once – true story, swear it! Some bloke on a sex-dating site, right, matches this lass. She’s all flirty, sendin’ pics – he’s buzzin’, thinkin’ he’s scored. Turns up at her flat – bam! It’s his ex’s mum! *cackles* Nasty twist, eh? Like Ofelia dodgin’ them faeries, only this poor sod didn’t dodge nothin’. Makes me laugh, tho – sex-dating’s a gamble, precious! Ya never know who’s behind the screen.

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First thing, I hit up my usual spot for breakfast. You know, that little café on Abay Street? The one with the best chebureks in town? Yeah, that place. I ordered two, thinking I’d need the energy. But guess what? They were out! Out of chebureks! I was like, “What kind of café runs out of chebureks?” I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for some dry bread and tea. Not the best start, right?

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