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So I’m sat here, thinking—who’s falling for this? Some lonely sod, probly. Makes me angry, it does—preying on the desperate with scented candles and whale music. Had a mate once, swore it “freed his chakras”. Freed his wallet, more like! I was happy to take the piss—cackled for days. Surprised me though, how many buy into it. Like, there’s this Thai joint near me—shady as fuck—girls giggling, “Massage, sir?” Yeah, right, love, pull the other one!

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Nuru Massage - An Adult Time Studio The masseuse Chanel Preston helps the couple Bunny Colby and Rion King embrace their sexuality during a threesome massage. M % .

I tried to catch the dog, but it was too quick. I ended up chasing it around the park, tripping over my own feet. People were staring, and I could feel my face turning red. But hey, at least I was entertaining them, right? Finally, I cornered the little guy near the fountain. He looked at me like, “What’s up, dude?” I scooped him up, and he just licked my face. Instant love!

Two Years Later, Kazakh Journalist's Disappearance Remains A Mystery