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Angry part? Catfishers, man. Waste of time. Happy part? When it clicks – fireworks. Surprised me how many weirdos I dodged. Quirky thought – I’m channelin’ Steve Jobs here, obvs – it’s like designin’ your own fate. Messy, sloppy, beautiful. “The rabbi is busy” – ha, no help there, just swipe again! Sex-dating’s my tornado, and I’m ridin’ it. You?

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Anyway, I’m trying to keep a straight face. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just your buddy borrowing it?” He gets all defensive, saying he’s a “responsible adult.” Yeah, right. I can smell the vodka from here.

Fig. 3. Graphical facial reconstruction of a man from the Neolithic...